Happy Face

This positive thoughts thing is already working for me. I am so very happy to report that when I had my ultrasound and b/w done this morning the doctor was very pleased to see that my cyst went from being the size of an orange to a deflated balloon on its own. He believes I should pass it on my own by Friday so we can start the stims. Phew! I wont have to have it ruptured! At least that is what it looks like for now. I will go back on Friday to have it all checked again to make sure. As usual, I brought him some treats. We traded a tin of homemade treats for two boxes of Bravelle! He is so awesome and that saved us a couple hundred dollars. The best part is..he thinks he made out with the better deal. Love this guy!


 A little advice: Find out what your Doctor likes. My Doctor has a sweet tooth so I bake him treats every time I go to see him. Show how much you appreciate your Doctor and they will appreciate you as a patient. 
 This is the recipe for what I brought him today. It is easy and anyone can make them. You even get to cheat a little!


Mint Chip Cookies
Use any sugar cookie mix you would like. Follow the directions and then add the following:
1/2 tsp mint extract
1 egg
6-8 drops green food coloring
1 cup chocolate chunks
1 cup creme de menth baking chips/or Andes mints are great too

1. Heat oven to 350°F. In large bowl, stir cookie mix, extract, food color and egg until soft dough forms. Stir in creme de menthe baking chips and chocolate chunks.
2. Using small cookie scoop or teaspoon, drop dough 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet.
3. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until set. Cool 3 minutes; remove from cookie sheet to wire rack. Serve warm or cool completely. Store tightly covered at room temperature.

Read with Caution

I just got home from the Doctor where I had another ultrasound. It turns out I have a Corpus Luteum Cyst on my left ovary. Nothing to worry about, basically just left overs from what I didn't ovulate. However, the pain I am having now has a valid reason. This puts a slight damper on the cycle, the Doctor will rupture the cyst next week so he can start me on my stims. I will go in on Tuesday for another ultrasound and then have a 10 minute surgery on Wednesday. I am thankful he is not dropping the cycle! I can't help that I cried. I am just disappointed and scared. I know I get myself all worked up over the "what ifs" but maybe it's just practice for when I actually become a mother. A mother who worries.
 I said I was going to be honest, so here it is...this morning was humiliating to me. First, I have never had a period this heavy in my life. I couldn't even get out of the shower this morning because I was dripping so much blood.  Finally, after a super plus tampon and a sanitary napkin I went to the Doctor. I know it his job and he sees it all the time, but I don't show people all the time. You know what I am saying? They put the dog pee pads on the table. Afterwards I could barely get off the table because of so much blood. I told my Husband not to look. There was no reason to see that. I brought a travel box of baby wipes and used all of them. I could barely look at at my Doctor in his office because I was so embarrassed. He told me not to worry, its because of the cyst and it won't be a problem. He reassured me that I shouldn't be embarrassed. This is all just so hard.
My Husband and I got into a fight when we got home. Not about this, but the stress starts getting to you. I just want to lie in bed for the rest of the day. I need to go into work this afternoon but I am exhausted from the pain, from the stress and the 100 degree weather mixed with hot flashes.

Hoping...

As far as this whole IVF thing goes, I haven't had much to report on. I started spotting on Friday and that has been going on since then...non stop. Annoying! I should have been visited by her majesty on Sunday but she never came. I have another ultrasound/bloodwork on Thursday. What is this going to mean? The plan was that I was going to get my period and if all looks good, I would start the stims on Thursday. Now, I am nervous that there will be another delay. The ups and downs of IVF really start to get to you. I started getting used to the Lupron and then tonight the shot hurt pretty bad. It felt like I cut myself shaving...you know that sting. It went away pretty quick though but now I am having horrible stomach pains. I don't think its related to the Lupron but who the heck knows anymore? It doesn't feel like normal period cramps but maybe she is finally coming. It is bizarre how your entire adult life you pray for your period to come, and then when you are TTC you pray that it doesn't. Now, I am back to praying that it comes and that it will be the last one for a long time. Please keep your fingers crossed. If there is anyone out there that has gone through this let me know I am not alone...I feel very alone in this whole process. My family/friends cannot relate to me. Some of them seem to not even care. Sometimes I feel like my own husband doesn't get it. I am scared to death.

A Treat for Treatment

I went for a blood test and a baseline ultrasound this morning...all looks good! Phew! I am so thankful that everything is heading in the right direction (for now) but at the same time I am scared to death of any disappointments that may occur. Another week (give or take) on the Lupron and then I start all the other goodies. Kinda YAY! 

I had another horrible dream last night and still get little headaches throughout the day. I brought that up to my doctor and he told me that those are perfectly normal however undesirable side effects of Lupron. In that case, I can tough it out. As long as it is normal I can deal with anything. 

My doctor is awesome! I bring him treats every time I go for an appointment. Its the least I can do for him, after all he is going to make me a baby. I also feel that I am getting special treatment and everyone in the office is always happy to see me and they are all so wonderful and sweet. It really makes this whole process so much better. As soon as I start getting some followers I will start posting my recipes..I am a chef, remember?!! I imagine it wouldn't hurt to bring your doctor some homemade baked goods...